Well, anyways, my visa issues require me to be back in the states. That time frame means my family needs a new au pair so I decided to look into finding a family. Although several wonderful families are great options, I’m really holding out for one, but that means not returning to Germany.

I will provide a nice long blog after my trip this weekend. I plan to explore the Castle in Heidelberg on Saturday and go shopping, visit every museum (the museums, in most of France actually, offer free entry on the first Sunday of every month) I could possibly fit into my schedule and squeeze in a picnic in one of the many gardens.

I am looking forward to being home, even a short while, because I do miss everyone, but I really wish I didn’t have to return. The German government, when that particular visa application wouldn’t go through, pretty much said I needed to have my return ticket to get my passport back. So, rather than not be able to travel about, I needed to leave right away so I can come back sooner.

That’s all for now, but more will come.

How greatly I yearn to no longer translate this language, but flow with words without thinking. To toss my dictionary back on the shelf and no longer flip through it’s pages a thousand times while trying to translate an article in the daily newspaper.

Another man–perhaps more attractive than the man in the suit–just passed. Oh god, I really need to speak German.

After Class..

Class was.. overall great. There are a couple people who get it and a few more who absolutely don’t. I wish the speed would pick up. Everything we are covering for the next couple weeks will be review for me. Although reinforcing the grammatical aspects is quite helpful, even if, when tested, I get them all correct. It’s strange being back in a classroom, especially where the teacher actually has to measure the understanding of the group. In college, professors measure through quizzes and exams, but typically go at the speed expected for the course and level. It’s like high school all over again–although the entire class is taught in German. My classmates come from all over the world. France, Africa, China. Most understand a little English, so explaining is easy when the teacher points to me and I try to explain the difference between formal and informal YOU. This class will prove interesting.

I miss being with someone so intimately that the world around me fades. And not just a someone, but the someone. And I think myself a fool, for I made the decision to leave long before I crossed the ocean. What am I getting myself into? What stupidity has come over me? Why does love like to play hide and seek with my heart?

It’s a true statement, you know. I believe that the saying “distance makes the heart grow fonder” is vastly overlooked. I hadn’t left our time zone before part of me fell into dark matter. Yet, I can’t leave. I can’t give this up, right? I made a choice, a choice to live life as an adventure. To seek out a difference in life, new experiences, as much laughter as I can possibly share.

My experience in Germany is getting better as each day passes. I solidly learn a new word or two, I understand the muttering words of a crying child, the infant smiles at me as I enter the room. And I am preparing for a new phase in my time here–language education. Ah yes, I’ll be starting classes Monday morning. Four hours a day, plus an hour of homework in the evening. The German language and I will become one. It is my sole commitment while being here, my reason to stay and my requirement to go home. If I cannot have a normal conversation with any German randomly plucked from the country, then I have failed.

Stefanie, the sweet baby who’s nearly a year old, has accepted me. She doesn’t cry when her mother leaves her with me, instead, she smiles and laughs. I have so missed the laugh of a baby. Noah and Devin have grown into little boys, little boys who so easily make you melt.

Americans are self-contained and, in whole, know very little about the daily ongoings of the many countries in the world. Events here in Germany wouldn’t appear in your newspapers. So, consider yourself ever-so-lucky. You are reading my blog and it is providing you with some interesting dinner-table conversation. WWII bombs are discovered every now and then in Germany. During my trip to visit Thilo, one was found during a construction site. And last night, another was discovered. During the attempted disarming of the bomb, it went off, killing three and injuring another six.

As we are now in June, I can’t help but mentally check off one of twelve months. Eleven months before I’m back home to stay.

If you have religiously read my blog, as my grandmothers and darling sister have all sworn to be–such as a Twilight fan raced to grab a copy of Breaking Dawn–then you are well aware that this blog stands out–such as I, an obviously out-of-place American girl in a small town in Germany. I’m in a mood, a mood I fall into now and then when I feel overcome with emotions. I’ll be back to normal, up-beat Shalane soon, or at least, I really hope so.

Spending those days with Thilo was heaven. It made me a lot less homesick. I absolutely love his family. It didn’t feel like we were even apart for two years… more like days. Although now that it’s been a day and a half without him I miss him just as much as I ever did in those years!

Today was a barbecue here. We had friends over, a cute couple, their five year old son and infant son. The kids all played while the adults made polite conversation… since I can’t follow the conversation, I played with the kids.

Lunch was steak.. and steak here is pork chops. Literally, it is called steak but it is a pork chop. We also had salad and I ate a lot of salad.. I don’t get it, but I actually seem to be enjoying salad. I would occasionally eat it in the US, but more out of respect when I ate at a friends or when my parents forced me to. It started that way here, but suddenly I realized I didn’t hate it anymore. Just random.

I was also offered a beer. So I accepted. It was the same beer Thilo chose out of hundreds at the bar we went to on Tuesday with a group of Americans he meets up with to keep his English up. Can you just mail a beer? I want to send it to a friend. Haha. They have the prettiest decorative beer glasses here. So much detail!

Okay, let’s see.. Only a matter of days before I start my German courses. Until then, I’m trying to work on vocabulary. Just looking around the house, in the garden, etc and if I don’t know what it is called in German, I figure it out. The kids are great help!

I can’t get the Eurovision Contest winning song out of my head. Germany’s Lena won with the song “Satellite” and it isn’t particularly an amazing song but it is catchy and omg it just came on shuffle as I wrote the title. This is creepy….

It was lots of fun, aside from the fact that after I started consuming alcohol, I was informed that there would be no more English spoken to me. Thilo’s goal is to help me, but my German is limited. I don’t have the vocabulary yet to follow a conversation, understand puns or jokes, so I kept zoning out. Thilo really tried and I was forced to dust off some of the German I do know yet forget I do.

Tomorrow it looks as if it is going to rain and we are hoping it won’t because we were going to go camping with lots of drinking and nobody having to stop *cough.. Thilo* so they could drive home. But alas, it looks as if it will so I’m not sure what the night is going to look like for us. I am trying to give Thilo the positive reenforcement to spend time working on his portfolio and don’t want me being here distract him too much so I told him we can’t go out tomorrow until there is progress made. His work is great so it must be completed.

Thilo is trying to sleep and I am afraid my typing is keeping him up so this will again, be quite short.

We went to the modern art museum, we went to the gardens, and really saw the beauty of the city. I’d say that it was more about us catching up than just me seeing Hannover and that was wonderful. It instantly was as if we weren’t apart and that’s what happens with great friends! I love Thilo’s family so far.

After our day in Hannover, we went to where he actually lives and I met the rest of his family who are also all great. Love it.

I also taught Jan something today–how to pump his legs on the swings himself. He was always a little afraid of leaning back and by encouraging him to try to hit my hands with his feet when he came forward, he got the hang of it.

I should note that I’ve also taught them both how to pound it. Jan loves it and asks to do it daily, usually at the dinner table.

I’m so excited for tomorrow. I’m a little worried because the shared car lady hasn’t emailed me back today so I am planning to call her first thing in the morning. If that ride isn’t working out, I will have to figure out the train and well, that will be a far greater expense. I am already planning to spend on the train from Thilo to Johannes and Johannes to home. But I get to see the boys!

I’ll be away for a week–can I keep up with a yeast free diet?

I need to get into some trouble. Nothing too crazy, but all of a sudden I’m at home all day, socialize with children who don’t speak my language and if I say Obama they think it’s a funny word. I contemplated going out tonight, perhaps to a pub in the city (Offenburg), but my knee is killing me like something serious so I thought it best to just not. I want it to rest up because I’m sure I’ll need it next week! But seriously, some crazy adventure, some new friends, something I wouldn’t want photographed and presented to everyone in my family. Okay, I know my family reads this blog, but you have to understand that I’m both twenty and living a year abroad, crazy is the reason I’m here and is adventure is what I’m after.

Until next time, Guten Nacht.

Yesterday I got my iPhone which was such a hassle. I had to essentially borrow my passport back from immigration just to get my plan and then it wouldn’t activate until it was connected to a computer. So not like iPhones work back home. But alas, I got it and am now connected.

I also spoke with Johannes, a fun German guy I met in Boston under very interesting circumstances, and have now planned to visit him in Jena on my way back from visiting Thilo. More to see, more to do! I would have waited, but he’s going to back to the US for three months.

Anyways, I loaded up all the music from Glee (such a guilty pleasure) and was playing it when the kids and I were playing and then we all started dancing. Well, with my knee, let’s just pretend that was dancing. The kids loved it and I think we made a serious leap together. They are so adorable. But it makes me miss my siblings back home.

Guten Nacht.

Today I went to retrieve my passport from the immigration office in Offenburg. They have held it captive during my visa process but T-Mobile won’t give me a phone without seeing it, so I am essentially borrowing it until tomorrow morning, when I go to Media Markt to get a phone here.

In order to reach the office, I had to take a bus route from my town, Schutterwald, to the city of Offenburg. This was my first time taking the buses here and I did so by myself. First, Julia helped me figure out the times on the schedule and then I was off. I had to, in German, ask to purchase a multi-ride ticket. Thankfully riding the bus in Boston has posed working with people who don’t speak the same language as you. (Ha!) The way there was filled with elderly women so I just sat there reading a book on my kindle. (Reading Eat, Pray, Love at the moment.) A few stops from where I got on, the seat beside me was filled by a nice elderly women who unfortunately smelt awfully terrible of cigarettes. She was curious about the kindle so I had a conversation with her as best as I could in German. To fill in the gaps, I used body language. It was quickly the stop for me to get off and I went about my business.

As I was waiting for the return bus, a teenage boy came to ask me directions. Although I didn’t understand everything he said, I had the jist and knew where he wanted to go and oddly, he asked me a location I actually knew. I asked if he spoke English and he shook his head and started to turn around. I answered him as well as I could in German and he did a 180 and flipped back at me. I directed him, but it took a large amount of body language to really convey the direction (using a tunnel under the street to cross) he needed to go.

On the bus back, I sat in a seat opposite of a very attractive pair of men, although I assume they are far too young. I didn’t say a word, although both of us communicated in body language. If I hadn’t had my stop so soon… Too young anyways, Shalane. Far too young.

The children went to afternoon kindergarten, so I pushed them in the cart. It’s a 15 minute walk, exactly. The sun really came out and I now am sure I have a slight sunburn in my face.

I uploaded a few more pictures to facebook today. Check them out facebook friends.

After the performance I read the wikipedia article on the fable. Quite interesting, all the variations!

Early, this morning, I took the kids to kindergarten. It’s about a 15 minute walk and I pushed them in a bluebird cart. Julia is teaching older women who are looking to go back into the work force English in Offenburg in the mornings, so today was the first day I took the kids in. Alone, that is.

I tried the milk. Well, barely. I used a little in my, what it’s known in this house, “Kaba” (Chocolate mix, popular brand). It’s essentially oats and some chocolate mix for flavor. I first smelt the milk and put it away. Then later just decided one bite with it won’t hurt. I couldn’t really taste the milk, and it did it’s job moistening the oats. I honestly don’t think I can ever just drink the milk. Probably use it in cereal at some point, but baby steps. I miss Oakurst so bad. Too bad I can’t request Thilo to bring me some of that!

The shared car I am considering traveling in would cost me about 40 Euros one way, then I could take the train back since I didn’t find a return car at the right time. I’m not sure yet, since round trip on the train isn’t much more than twice that. But, it could be an interesting experience. But, I need to discuss with Thilo on dates and such.. Put that on my to-do list.

I started putting words into my learning box. I’m also mandating study time each morning and evening until my classes begin of just reviewing words, phrases and pronunciation. Today I read the children a book in German and I’d make an oops every other page or so in pronunciation and Laura, this girl is really smart, would quickly correct me and make me repeat it until I said it to her satisfaction.

Ohhh! I did a puzzle today with Laura of The Little Mermaid. I fucking love The Little Mermaid!

When I was walking the children to the show, a guy was riding his bike on the other side of the street. This guy was GORGEOUS. If he was on my side, heading the same direction or I didn’t have the kids… I would have stopped him. I should have, I am getting far too bored with my lack of socialization with anyone other than Julia or who’s over the age of five.